“I can shake off everything as I write; my sorrows disappear, my courage is reborn.” - Anne Frank
January 2023 I had knee cap reconstruction surgery.
February 2023 I lost my Aunt Kiki, unexpectedly.
Going into 2024, I believed I was healed from the years before. Quickly reminded that healing is an on-going process. Before I go any further, let's rewind, where my writing journey really took off.
August 2022, I accepted a job as a live in care-taker in Washington, DC. Eager to move out of my hometown and try something new, I was excited for the opportunity. My job was taking care of a young girl, Sejal, who lives with Rett Syndrome.
"Rett syndrome (RTT) is a rare and devastating neurodevelopmental disorder that impacts nearly every aspect of an individual’s life, including their ability to speak, walk, eat, and even breathe. Symptoms can begin as early as 6 months old when parents begin to see their child miss development milestones and lose abilities they had already gained." You can learn more about Rett and how you can help others here. https://www.rettsyndrome.org/about-rett-syndrome/understanding-rett-syndrome/
Working with Sejal was such a beautiful experience. She showed me the power in patience, eye-contact, and slowing down. Sejal, 18 years old, non-verbal and needs help with everyday tasks. Unfortunately, I only worked with Sejal for a short period of time before I was faced with a difficult decision. Shortly after settling in, I experienced pain in my knee I already had 2 surgeries on. Walking bothered me. Sleeping was terrible. I tried to avoid going to the doctor, until the pain became unbearable and went to numbness.
I knew I had a decision to make. Stay and continue damaging my knee with every step I took (quite literally. I will save you the details on that) or go home and get my knee fixed, again. A dreadful visit to the doctor and several difficult conversations later, my bags were packed and my Mom drove us home. I could tell we both wanted to scream and cry. My mom is the strongest lady I know and I could see her desperately trying to keep my spirits high. I knew she was sad for me. She wanted to see me thrive. To live my life. We already went down this path and to do it again, was daunting. We didn't talk much on the way home and when we did, her effort to stay positive & strong was evident. Encouraging me to be strong.Thoughts flooding my head and my eyes welling up, constantly asking myself "why? why now? I just got here."
I needed an outlet...
Explaining my feelings felt impossible. Understanding my thoughts seemed out of reach. For Christmas that year, I wrote each one of my family members a letter - expressing my thanks and support. This act seemed notably important as my loved ones were concerned and I did not know how to respond. In times of defeat I often shut down and processing my thoughts is incredibly hard for me to do if I do not have the ability to slow down - something I am so grateful writing provides me.
I write to...
Explain my feelings
Understand my thoughts
Slow down my brain
I encourage you to write often. Write when happy, sad, overwhelmed. Write whenever you can. The process of free writing is beautiful, unique, and theraputic to our mind & soul.
コメント